Miserable Mutt

So I had to literally pick up my beagle and carry him out of the house to go to his auntie's house to stay over Thanksgiving, while I was out of town.

On the car ride over there, he shook for 45 minutes and salivated all over me as though he was going to throw up from fright. It was quite a display. Truly an Oscar-winning performance.

We said our goodbyes and I left him for 5 days, the poor little stinker. I felt so bad. And upon my triumphant return to retrieve him....

The little runt ran away from me and cowered behind my sister-in-law! He collapsed down into this little ball between her legs and was looking at us both like I was charging at him with a freshly sharpened machete! He gave her the full-blown big beagle eyes, silently pleading with her not to let me get him. He is such a manipulative little f--ker!!!!!

So I went over and snatched him up and stuck him under my arm, and we left. After all, he's only 20 pounds, so I can do whatever I want with him. But the nerve!!!! My God, the nerve!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a little brat!

So he's been home for 2 days now, and he's totally depressed. It's just pathetic. I come home and he just kind of wanders over and sits on the other side of the room and looks at me as if he wishes he had some kind of sharpened instrument with which to put himself out of his misery (and the opposing thumbs to be able to maneuver it properly).

Unbelievable.

Apparently they let him sleep on the couch over at their house, and he got "tasty new food" and had lots of treats and playtime, because it was the holiday and they were home all day long. So now that we're back home without any such perks, he feels that he's being "mistreated" and he's "bored" and of course we are completely to blame. And it makes my husband and I feel great, let me tell you. We call him over excitedly and he just kind of stalks out of the room, lifting his tail to show us his butt-hole on the way out.

Nice.

I guess he wasn't a complete angel while he was over there, though. Somebody left the garage door open and he bolted. He ran across the street, through a field, and was attempting to flee over a big hill, but there was too much snow on it and he kept sliding back down. So my brother-in-law was running after him and he saw his big chance. He lunged at his hind legs and plucked him out of the snow like a bunny rabbit. Haha! I do derive some pleasure out of picturing that little scene.

Anyhow, my point is that I have never seen such a melodramatic little shit in all my life. First he doesn't want to leave, and now he's miserable because he's back. And when we look at him, we can tell that he hates us. You can just feel the loathing in his beady little gaze.

Can't wait to have kids!