American Idolatry

So I have never been able to watch American Idol. I just haven't been able to get into a bunch of teenagers singing tired Lionel Richie songs in the hopes of achieving fame and fortune.

Until this season, that is. I'm not sure what happened, but this time around I'll admit to watching it on more than a few occasions. I've "been there done that" with the Apprentice, and The Bachelorette crashed and burned this time around, to my utter delight, and was made to answer such questions as "Were you not having good sex with the Bachelor you chose" on live television. It was a beautiful thing. But now it's over, so I'm left with Scrubs, which was awesome last night by the way (Zach Braff, if you're reading this entry: I love you) and American Idol, which is kind of like a vegetable that you used to despise, but now you see that maybe it's not SO bad after all, if eaten a certain way (perhaps doused in cheese or lots of butter). I personally like to watch American idol lying flat on my back on the couch with either (a) a jumbo sundae or (b) a tall bag of Cheetos. If watched this way, it somehow becomes bearable.

I've also come to the conclusion that Paula Abdul, while friendly and well-intentioned, is incapable of adding anything of value to the assessment of the performers. The two men seem to actually have a relatively good grasp of whether or not a person is up to the challenge of having a successful singing career. Paula Abdul seems to have a solid grasp of whether or not somebody "looks good" on any given night.

Also, the judges do not seem to like it when peformers sing "current" songs by "succesful artists in their prime." They react badly when these songs are chosen, and they inform the American Idolatry that they should be "careful of choosing songs by someone on top of their game." So--what, they should only sing songs by Kenny Loggins? Songs that were (or possibly weren't even) popular 20 years ago? They seem to like Gloria Estefan. They do not like songs by Celine Dion. But then, I guess that's pretty typical.

Anyway, it's been interesting. There is a poor soul named Constantine who I fear will be going home tonight. He is tall and white and in a rock band. And on American Idol, rock music is bad. Whitney Houston = good. Aerosmith = bad. "Playas" = good. Tall pasty leather jacket-wearing fellows who idolize Metallica = very, very bad. Sorry, Constantine.

All I know is, Clay Aiken guest-starred on Scubs a couple of weeks ago, and I---Scrubs...Zach Braff....yummy....