Oh for the love of.....

I should just start calling this blog "Chronicles of Hildy B's Run-ins at the Gym." It's official--I have like, some kind target on my forehead that is apparently visible to everyone but me.

So I'm treadmilling away yesterday, minding my own business, WITH my headphones on (meaning I'M BUSY, DON'T TALK TO ME) when the guy on the treadmill next to me holds up a CD in front of my face. I glanced over at him. He looked to be a beefy mid-fortyish Italian gentleman approximately the color of doggie Beggin' Strips (aka, tangerine), wearing a tight white tank top and donning a handful of gold chains around his neck. Ay-ay-aye. He waved the CD again.

I removed my head phones. "Do you want to listen to this?" He says. "What is it," I said. "It's dance music," he says.

*Weary sigh.*

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's dance music. It's too loud and fast. I don't get it--I just really don't enjoy it at all. It just sounds like total crap to me, and it gives me a friggin' headache! But he was offering, which was, after all something of a friendly gesture, so I had no choice but to take it.

"All right, I'll give it a whirl."

He handed me the disk, and I stuck it in my player and hit play. Ugh, then the fast thumping "dance beat" kicked in and it was just God-awful! As expected. I hit fast-forward. Track 2 was no better. I moved on to 3, 4, 5, 6---and after about a minute, I had to hit "Stop" to preserve my own sanity. What did this yahoo like about this crap, anyway? I couldn't give it back to him right away, though, because then he would know how much I hated it. So my only option, of course, was to stand there and PRETEND that I was listening to it.

So for the next 20 minutes, I had to walk in place with my headphones on, in silence, pretending to listen to his shit CD and hoping that he wouldn't talk to me again.

Before long, I saw his hands waving in front of my face again. Oh, no.

"Plug into this," he says. "This is my favorite song!" He hands me his player.

Man oh man. I plugged in and hit "play." THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP and then some shrieky lady starts screeching over the top of it. It was absolute hideousness! Like those awful Siren-ladies in Odysseus! Just this awful pounding and screeching. I could only manage a few seconds of it before handing it back.

"You like that???" He says. "Mmm--hmmmm" I muttered. And I took the opportunity to give him his CD back that I had been PRETENDING to listen to and decided to end my cardio right then and there. I couldn't think of anything else to say to him, so I managed "It was nice and upbeat" when I gave the disk back.

"Glad you enjoyed it," he says.

Somebody just shoot me, shoot me now........