Yank it, Fat man!

So it should come as no surprise to you that I had yet ANOTHER freak encounter at the gym yesterday. I'm starting to think maybe I should work out at home...

So I was using the cable machines last night, for which they have all different arrangements--they have 'em for arms, legs, abs, chest, triceps, biceps, what have you. I happened to be using the triceps cable machine. And right next to me was the biceps one.

So along comes this really BIG dude. And I mean BIG, as in EXTREMELY WIDE. He comes lumbering along, and the first thing I noticed was that he looked a little unsure of where to go or what to do, which was somewhat understandable for a person of his "stature." He looked new.

So of COURSE he picks the bicep machine next to me and sits down. It is a simple apparatus--it's basically just a bicep curl, but instead of holding onto a weight, you're holding onto a handle and getting resistance from a cable on a pulley. It's a no-brainer, really. Easy to use, with directions right there in front of your face.

So what does he do? Any guesses? Anyone?

He grabs hold of the cable handle and starts YANKITTY YANK YANK YANK YANKing it. Like, REALLY fast. I had absolutely no idea what he was doing! I could see him out of the corner of my eye, a-YANK YANK YANKing on the handle, and I won't tell you what it looked like to me but that's what it looked like, and it was ALL I COULD DO to keep from sniggering loudly! It took every ounce of restraint in my body, I tell you!!

So I was sitting there attempting to get my facial quiverings under control, when this girl walks up to him. "You're doing it wrong," she says. "You're supposed to go slower." "I'm feelin' the burn," he shouts, and continues a-YANK YANK YANKing on the handle. She looked at him, sadly, and then just walked off. He then proceeded to switch hands and started YANKITTY YANK YANKing with the other. That was it--I was forced to get up and leave IMMEDIATELY. I mean, honestly! How is ANYBODY supposed to maintain a straight face under those conditions??

So now I have one MORE person I have to avoid when I'm working out. My list is just getting ENTIRELY too long!! I can't go anywhere without running into these yahoos! What is a girl supposed to do??

Honestly....