An Ode To My Beagle

I love the way you run away from me when I call you
And how you dig out of the yard on Thursday mornings
Forcing me to chase after you in my black skirt and mules
And re-twisting my knee, thank you ever so

I know it is such a horrible existence living with me,
What with all of the treats and the profuse affection I bestow onto you
It must really suck
Which is why you get your revenge by waking me up at 6:15 am on SATURDAYS

You thoughtfully tear gigantic holes in my window screens
Because I don't get to the back door fast enough for your liking to let you in
It was so much fun replacing them
I can hardly wait for you to do it again, next time I don't hear you SITTING BY THE BACK DOOR

It's great how you disappear under the bed when it's time to go in your crate
And now you crawl to the other side of the bed when I attempt to drag you out
This morning I had to grab hold of two of your back toes and pull
It was so much fun, how you tried to bite me

When I lean down to put my face next to yours
You belch in it---what a special moment shared between us
The only thing better is when you drag your claws down my bare legs
It feels so great

Thank you, beagle for making my life A LIVING HELL
This is my ode to you
My little headache
But you are so fuzzy and cute I can't bring myself to donate you for scientific experiments

My beagle