Gross.

Um yeah, so I went outside to grill a hamburger over Labor Day weekend, and as I was poking the little lighter-dealy down into the gas grill to light it, I couldn't get it to light so I put my face down in there to see what was going on, and all of a sudden I saw something MOVE down in the bottom of the grill. What the crap!

I jumped back and leaned forward tentatively, peeking down inside. That, my friends, was the point when a MOUSE leapt out and started RUNNING FRANTICALLY AROUND THE INSIDE OF MY GRILL. Consequently, that was also the point that I began squealing like a little sissy girl, dropped the lid of the grill, turned on my heels and bolted into my house, burger in tow, and slammed the back door behind me. Then I stood there for a minute, my face mooshed up against the glass, watching for the mouse to come after me or something. I dunno, it could have!!

When I was pretty sure it wasn't going to give chase, the hamburger went RIGHT back into the fridge, as my appetite was GONE. How completely revolting!!!!

As many of you know, I am a total germophobe, so the thought of a VILE DISEASE-RIDDEN RODENT LICKING AND/OR POOPING IN THE PLACE WHERE I COOK MY FOOD is more than a little disconcerting. I am surprised I was able to sleep that night. GAH!!

Horsefeathers. Foul little whiskery beast!! Be careful of the meat served up at my house, folks. You never know what you're going to get. Burger, anyone? No? Can I interest you in char-grilled mouse? (Which is ALMOST what I had on my hands, which I suppose would have been worse? If that is possible?)

Euuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to go disinfect something now. I hope this doesn't give me a total complex like that Howard Hughes. If I start peeing in weird places, somebody give me some pills or something.