Bagels: High in Carbohydrates AND Physically Abusive.

So in the land of freakish events that is my life, I am astounded to report that something even more absurd and tragic than usual has happened so someone besides myself! If you can EVEN believe it.

I am sorry to say that a woman I know, who happens to be the wife of mine co-worker, was tragically knocked out this morning by A FALLING 25-POUND BOX OF FROZEN BAGELS.

Yes, my dear friends, ‘tis completely true! The falling box of frosty breakfast staples took her out on its way down, whacking her on the back of the head and knocking her out cold! Pun intended!

She was ushered to the hospital immediately, whereupon it was deemed that she has no less than a concussion. They are currently awaiting additional imaging results to ensure that is the extent of it.

What kind of crazy world do we live in where a beloved wife and mother of four gets taken out in such a brutal yet ridiculous manner?

So, folks, I guess I’m not the only one. Get well soon, Martha. And as I so helpfully noted to your husband, you may want to switch to waffles. (Although they do require refrigeration. Scratch that. Perhaps pop-tarts are your best bet?)

I do not have any details yet as to the where and the how. I inquired as to *who* could be so careless as to drop a 25-pound box of food on a woman’s head, and also *where* this incident might have occurred (so I can avoid it accordingly, before I incur the same fate).

I will keep you posted when I have more details to report.

Yowsuh!