Hildy B's Weekend Misadventures

Happy Monday, everybody! I hope everyone had as delightful a weekend as I did.

Excepting, of course, the parts where the beagle yakked/shat on my FRESHLY SHAMPOOED CARPET, after which I snorted hot tea out of my nose (although the two events were unrelated), and managed to chemically burn my hands with lemon juice, as I squoze approximately 18 lemons with my bare fingers in an attempt to make lemon bars. Whoo! Good times....good times.

But seriously, it was a great weekend in total. The items I listed above, I could have certainly done without. I definitely don’t recommend the hot-tea thing, it was not my plan. I always kind of slurp my hot tea as a means of cooling it before I take a big gulp and singe my tonsils. Stan thought it would be “funny” to start slurping loudly to mock me as I was right in the middle of a big slurp, and the *hot* tea managed to traverse its way UP my nose and then out, which was momentarily not funny but then it became funny again.

Don’t try this one at home, kids! Or if you do, at least get yourself some iced tea.

Ah yes, and then I spent the greater part of Saturday lugging a big heavy steam-cleaner around my house in an attempt to revive my carpeting, which has suffered great losses since the beagle was introduced, and as I’m right in the middle of straining my back to shuttle that damn thing across the house, I notice that the beagle has SHAT ON MY LIVING ROOM CARPET, AS I WAS BUSY CLEANING IN THE FAMILY ROOM. Well, I nearly came unglued. The whole REASON I had to RENT THE F---ING THING IN THE FIRST PLACE is because of HIM. That furry little brat!!!!!

Oh yes, and then first thing this morning he yakked all over my bedroom carpeting, which I had somehow managed to steam clean as fresh as the newfallen snow. I had the pleasure of getting down and dirty with a scrub brush and a bottle of carpet cleaner at approximately 6:25 AM today. It was a treat.

In other news, I finally saw “Meet the Fockers” and especially enjoyed the part where the little rat-dog gets ahold of the squeaky Albert Einstein hand-puppet and humps it. So all you see is this little rat-thing bouncing up and down, going “squeak! squeak! squeak! squeak! squeak!” in rapid succession. Ahahaha! Comedic genius, I tell you!!

And that....is that.

HB out-y!!