Weenie Jingles

Yo ho, everybody, and a bottle of rum. I just kicked the beagle off the bed for licking his butthole next to my head. DIsgusting!!

I had quite an afternoon today, discussing the imminent purchase of a weiner dog by my work colleague, the "elusive Mr. J." I'm told he has his eye on a T-shirt that says "I love my weiner." And he wants the dog to go with.

There are so many snide comments a-brewing, I don't even know what to do with myself. In an attempt to restrain myself, I will say only that you KNOW EVERY MAN ON THE PLANET WANTS THIS SHIRT. You KNOW it. I know it, you know it, WE ALL KNOW IT.

In any case, at this time I would like to direct you to the following site, provided by "Mr. J," entitled "Jingles for Meat and Cheese Products". (I am not making this up.) Here, you will find the time-tested Oscar Meyer jingle that has delighted children and adults alike for eons.

http://www.geocities.com/foodedge/jingles4.html

In addition to the sound clips, they have also helpfully spelled out the lyrics for you. This is quite a resource, I must say. The musical stylings are simply fantastic.

I give you the following, from the Armour HotDogs jingle:

"What kinds of kids love Armour hot dogs?
Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks,
tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox love hotdogs."

Hmm, so basically, rock-climbers aside, you either need to have (a) a weight problem (b) emotional issues (c) contracted a disease or (d) been repeatedly beaten to a pulp on the playground to enjoy Armour brand HotDogs. Sign me up!

I also enjoyed this little diddy about tuna:

"Yum, yum Bumblebee, Bumblebee tuna. I love Bumblebee, Bumblebee tuna. Yum, yum Bumblebee, Bumblebee tuna, I love a sandwich made with Bumblebee."

Does that make you want to snarf down a tuna-salad sammy, or WHAT?!

They've got a little something for everybody, whether it be pork, or cheese, or "Kraft," which happens to be neither but does offer a snazzy little jingle to put a spring in your step and a song in your heart.

So, love your little weiners. And your hot dogs, too. If you are a sickly little pipsqueak with ADHD, that is.