Maggie the Elephant Not Interested in Using Treadmill

So what happens when you shell out $100,000 for a custom treadmill for an elephant that refuses to use it?

I knew elephants were smart animals. If I weighed 8,000 pounds, I wouldn’t be interested in letting a couple of stupid humans tell ME what to do, either. Much less heft my carcass up onto an f---ing treadmill!!!

I say ‘Bravo’ to Maggie the African elephant, who is too big to be bossed around. You tell ‘em, sister!

Apparently they’ve been trying to bribe Maggie with food to get up on the treadmill and do workouts, but she’s not having it. She’s lazy, and she likes it that way!! And I can’t say that I blame her.

If I had Maggie’s figure, I would probably lie around under a tree all day and sleep until somebody brought me something to eat. No wonder all the animals in the zoo are so lethargic! They don’t have to lift a claw, and they get 3 square meals and plenty of naptime! Those animals have got it right.

Especially the baboons, who occupy themselves by having sex with each other all the live long day. If reincarnation is real, they must let the really good people come back as baboons.

Except there’s the whole big-red-butt thing. That wouldn’t be so nice.