To Market, to Market, to Buy a Fat Pig.

Home again, home again, jiggety jig!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE staying home with my offspring all day, but I am getting SO TIRED of reading THE SAME BOOKS and playing with THE SAME TOYS EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I could recite "Stomp your feet, clap your hands, everybody ready for A BARNYARD DANCE" in my sleep. (Which is troublesome.) I keep buying more books and bringing home more toys to appease my own boredom, and The Sprout will reject the books because they're not "his old favorites" and will play with the toys for a half hour and then never again. His favorite toys right now include Anything Dangerous, and nothing at all in the Approved-For-Baby category. He doesn't want HIS toys. He wants EVERYTHING ELSE. Which makes for plenty of lower-back pain and fatigue, as you have to pick him up and carry him to the opposite, "baby-safe" end of the room approximately once every ten seconds for about 11 hours straight.

I am having to come up with New Uses For Old Toys just to entertain myself in between the times he is bolting for the stairs and/or electric outlets. He has this plastic egg, it's green, and today I was putting it in my mouth and blowing it out as hard as I could, hitting him in the stomach. Which he found hilarious, so I had to do it approximately 365 times until he stopped giggling and scampered off to rip the surrounding power cords out of the wall. At which point I was dizzy from blowing it out of my mouth so many times in a row and could barely get up off the floor to clamber after him.

Remember those books where you could choose your own twists in the story? If you chose this thing, the book took you this way. If you chose something else, it turned out differently. I could sure use some of those in the picture-book variety.

To market to market, to buy a fat hog. Home again, home again, jiggety jog!

Sigh...

Back on Track.

Hey, long time no blog!

I have been offline for 3 LOOOONG months now. I officially have the most retarded computer guy there is. He sold me this piece-of-shit computer which broke immediately and he has been unable to repair it. Yadda yadda yadda, I shipped it off to the manufacturer for repairs and bought a Mac in its absence. Anybody want to buy a brand-new crappy Acer laptop? I'm selling it for dirt cheap. Cheaper than dirt, actually.

So, I intend to get back to blogging on a somewhat regular basis.

On the homefront, my sprout is 9 months old now and has NO FEAR. You know that piece of your brain that tells you NOT to tumble off the couch/bed/porch swing headfirst onto your face? Yeah, he seems to be missing that all-important lobe. I am terrified because there's a skate park across the street and I can totally see him darting across the street in traffic to learn how to break every bone in his body via skateboard. If it's dangerous, that's what he wants. Yesterday he tried to lose the tips of his fingers in a box fan. (Unsuccessfully, thank heaven.) You can't take your eyes off that kid for a SECOND! He knows EXACTLY what he's not supposed to have...and he appears to have a small sensor that alerts him the moment you shift your gaze elsewhere. Then he makes his dash for the outlet/stairs/toilet/power cords/dust buster/alarm clock/lamp/dog/cell phone/etc. I live in a constant state of vigilance. (If you're a Harry Potter fanatic as I am--I often hear the auror Mad-Eye Moody barking "Constant Vigilance!" in my head. Is that weird?)

And now...breakfast. Hopefully I'll be chatting with you again soon!

Hildeeee